I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't deserve a penis
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
