No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
