Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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