Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize