I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
