So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
