Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
FUCK WHALES
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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