i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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