Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
