Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
