I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
