You're so nebulous sometimes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize