I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
