HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
