We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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