I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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