i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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