i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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