Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
