I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
