I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
