Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it hurts more in the daytime
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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