Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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