On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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