I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
