hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
