apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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