Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
