Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
