ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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