The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
