can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
