He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
