people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
