whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
