he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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