The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
