Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize