You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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