No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
