Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
