Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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