My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
