Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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