This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
