The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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