Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
