You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize