Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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