i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
