i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
