ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
