the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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