spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
