She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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