The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
