dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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