I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am available for nakedness
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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