the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
