i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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