in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I've blown a few things in my day
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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