Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
